Self-Esteem
What is self-esteem? In a nutshell, it is believing that we are "good enough." It is holding ourselves in warm and positive regard and knowing deep down inside that we belong here on this planet, that we matter, and we are valuable. This is very difficult for many KrazyGirls as most of us are sorely lacking in self-esteem. Many KGs have been through a lot, possibly enduring trauma, abuse, rejection, family of origin challenges, or other experiences of deep emotional pain. Maybe we have been told in some way that we do not matter? Perhaps, the people that surrounded us as we grew up did not know how to love themselves or manage their difficult emotions, so these patterns or internal belief systems may have been transmitted to us.
Frequently, we look to others to tell us we are OK or to validate us from the outside. However, our validation and self-assurance must come from inside, otherwise we will never really believe it. We may have become conditioned to chase a constant supply of positive reinforcement, reassurance from others, or reassurance from social media, our job, or how we look. This creates a dependency which keeps us stuck on the validation hamster wheel, with outside factors having way too much power over our moods and emotions. This stresses and strains our relationships well beyond a functional or sustainable level and leads to volatility or loss of relationships..
The good news is, we can learn to build our own self esteem like any other skill, and the more we work at this, the better we become. There is no downside to moving from Krazy to #KrazyEmpowered, and most of the time this process is actually enjoyable and feels good! Yes, change is difficult, especially in the beginning, but it can also be exhilarating and freeing. We learn to become the architects of our own narrative and like any other form of education, it is ours to keep for life. This freedom from validation dependency also transforms our relationships with others, because our relationships become less volatile and more authentic, sustainable, and satisfying. Here is the bonus round– we also pass this hard-earned wisdom and knowledge to future generations as well! Like waves in the ocean, the work we do on ourselves has far- reaching ripples and positive implications in many directions.
We dive deep into the elements of positive self-talk and how to build authentic self-esteem as we discuss wellness strategies in future blogs, in our connection groups’ and with the speakers in our series. Please let us know what you struggle with regarding your self-esteem and what has been helpful on your wellness journey. Join us each week as we move move forward together from Krazy to #KrazyEmpowered.
Xxoo Marci